Friday, September 5, 2008

Thoughts on leaving LA

Yesterday I went to a new workout class, that was a mixture of ballet basics, cardio, and weights. I had a good time and it was a nice change of pace from working on an elliptical and lifting (although I love lifting with Greg) I am feeling a little sore today and it is a nice feeling.

I have not been in the mood to write that much lately, but the past couple of days I have been itching for some time to just sit down and write about everything that is going on in my life. I feel like I don't know where my life is headed and I am feeling maybe a little lost. I am happy with my career path, but I still feel like I am in the wrong place. Maybe that is hard to understand, so I am going to explain. I think and have always thought that I am not meant to be in LA. Back when I was in school people would always ask where I was from. When I told them that I grew up here, they were always in shock, saying that I was not the typical girl that is brought up here. And I feel like that side of me is coming out more and more as I get older. I see that I do not want to raise my children in an environment where you are judged for the pair of pants that you choose to wear or the kind of car that you drive. I understand enjoying those things but you should not look down on others because they are not fortunate enough to have the same opportunities in life. I think about when I went to Alabama and one of Lizzy's friends was just buying her own condo for about $70,000 and this girl was not supported by her family. In the city that I live in now, that would never happen. I feel like you are lucky if you are able to buy a house by the time that you are 30 because the prices are insane. I feel like the way of living out of LA is so much better and rewarding. It is more quiet and you can appreciate your loved ones so much more. The problem is that I am afraid! I am afraid to move away from the comforts of knowing the streets and knowing how to get anywhere. I know that those are things that would happen eventually, but learning all those things has taken my whole life. Are my desires strong enough to force me to leave? I think if Greg were on board, we could make it happen and we could support each other through the stresses of relocating. Greg would really like to move somewhere else as well, but in his career LA is a great place to be. So what do we do? Suffer??? I don't know and that is really stressful!!!!

In the short term, I am looking for a new place to live and I think that I am going to get a studio. I am not looking forward to that. I just want to be able to have my own home and lead a simple life. Is that too much to ask??

Hopefully, I can get all of these questions ironed out soon!!

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